When I was 9 years old, I got molested by my own uncle. I felt so helpless. The years after that incident, I slowly learned how to fight and defend myself. When I went to college, I was ready to fight for my right against any professor who abuses his authority and I was always ready to win any argument. Whenever I hear that any member of my family got wronged and they didn’t do anything about it, I always feel frustrated and angry. Now that I am married, my husband is not an exception. Last week, when I asked my husband about his work, he told me that someone embarrassed him. Instead of encouraging and consoling my husband, I got upset with him because he didn’t do anything to defend himself. I even gave him an ultimatum that unless he promised to report the incident to his superior, we won’t be okay. These are my husband’s words,
“I thought when someone slaps you in the cheek, you should give the other side of your cheek? I don’t want that person to be in trouble because of me, I already forgave her. You only heard my side of story, let me decide for myself”.
When I heard those words, I calmed down and said sorry. I knew I was wrong. I needed to go to work so I was crying on my way. When I reached the office, my boss was already there and I couldn’t help myself but told him what happened and I cried even more. My boss said,
“When a person is so full of himself, he has less frustration tolerance for obstacles that stand in his way to get or achieve what he wants.”
Why did I get upset with my husband? Because I wanted him to defend himself but he didn’t want to. I tried to dominate to get what I want and when I didn’t, I felt frustrated. I was full of myself. I was reminded of my role as a wife, and that is, to support my husband with his decisions. It was another lesson for me. My husband is the head of the family, and God will lead our marriage through him. That’s the very reason I need to pray for my him everyday. If there are times that I don’t agree with his decisions, I should trust God and submit to my husband. God is good and faithful for bringing people who support and guide our marriage. I am very thankful.